Scotcheroos
by dmnq8
Summary: The boys can't cook, but they can...do other stuff. Same AU as Mission: Get Laid. Yaoi. Sasunarusasu. Giftfic for SexyKakashi99. Disclaimer in my profile.


A/N: Giftfic for **SexyKakashi99**. She specified SasuNaruSasu, something I'm not especially skilled at, but I gave it my best, and this seemed to come easy enough. My first idea for her fic fell through. This idea was extracted from none other than my muse while she was describing lunch one day. Love my Muse-chan, I always get inspiration from her. ^^

Anywhoo, this is the same AU as 'Mission: Get Laid'. About a year has passed for the boys since that fic, and Naruto now lives with Sasuke and his brother.

Beta: Blood Zephyr

* * *

**Scotcheroos**

Itachi walked into Sasuke's room and whisked the blanket away from his brother's snoring body. "Sakura called."

"_What the fuck, _Itachi!" Sasuke groped blindly for the blanket.

Itachi only moved to the other bed in the room and gave Naruto the same wake-up call. "Said she needs you two to help her with something at her house."

"Fuuuuck." Naruto groaned. He buried his head under his pillow. Itachi snatched this away unceremoniously. "Itachi, man, come on!"

"This is child abuse," Sasuke yelled when his pillow was yanked away too.

"If you two didn't spend each night screwing each other, you'd get up at a reasonable hour." Itachi left the room.

-oOo-

Sasuke sat bolt upright. "Shit. He knows."

Naruto sat up more slowly, rubbing one eye. "Told you, you were noisy."

"Yeah?" Sasuke made his voice high and girlish. "'_Oh, Sasuke, say my name!' _Who hollered that last night? Not me."

Naruto felt acute embarrassment, not only because he _had _said it, but because Sasuke chose to belittle him with what he considered a private, very vulnerable moment. "Fuck you, asshole."

"You wish." Sasuke leaned back on his elbows. He smirked in invitation.

Naruto answered with a certain finger, got out of bed, and marched silently to the bathroom.

In the kitchen, they sat down to breakfast. Itachi spooned cornflakes into his mouth, slurping milk. He looked back and forth between the two scowling teens as he chewed. "Lover's quarrel?"

"SHUT UP," they bellowed.

* * *

Sakura opened her door an hour later, and immediately left her friends to run farther back into her apartment. "The list's in the kitchen!" she called.

Naruto shoved the door all the way open, but was shoved out of the way in turn by Sasuke, who barged past on his way in. Naruto slammed the door. By the time he got to the kitchen, Sasuke had a pink index card in his hand, frowning.

Sakura came in and gave each a quick hug. "You guys are lifesavers! We're throwing TenTen a surprise birthday party. I need you guys to pick up those things and make the Scotcheroos." She bustled around the kitchen, setting out baking pans and measuring cups. "Here's the stuff. This is how you work the stove."

Naruto snatched the card while Sasuke was staring in disbelief at their former teammate. He read it. "What in hell is a Scotcheroo?"

"Fuck that, I thought you wanted us for a mission," Sasuke snapped. "I can't cook!"

Sakura distractedly looked in a cabinet. "It's not cooking, just mixing and stirring and some heating on the stove. Damn, I'm out of corn syrup. Naruto, put that on the list please?"

"What list? There's only this card with the recipe."

Sakura snatched a list off the fridge and wrote on it. "Here." She turned to leave.

Both boys gave a panicked shout. She turned and stamped her foot in exasperated impatience. "_What?_ I'm supposed to be picking up the cake."

Naruto waved the list. "Why do _we_ have to do this? Can't someone more kitchen-y take this job? Like Chouji?"

"Or Hinata?" Sasuke chimed in.

"Or your mom?"

"Or Ino?"

"Or-

Sakura advanced into the room, hands on her hips. "Chouji's making the beef and pork. Ino's doing the decorations. Hinata and Neji are hosting the party, and providing drinks. My mother is making the rice and dumplings at TenTen's house. _I'm _bringing the sweets and _I _need help! You two are helping me! _End of discussion, is that CLEAR?_" By the end of this rant she was leaning into their faces. Sasuke and Naruto were cringing against the fridge.

"Perfectly," Sasuke said quickly. Naruto nodded jerkily, holding the index card up as a shield.

Sakura was all smiles again. "Good! I need eight batches of those. Don't make a mess!" she sang as she exited the house door.

-oOo-

Sasuke lowered his shoulders from where they were hunched up by his ears. He read the index card, read the list, then looked up at Naruto. "That bitch didn't give us any money, did she?"

"Nope."

"Lend me-"

"I ain't lending you shit. You got more money than me anyway."

Naruto skulked off into the living room and flopped on the couch. He and Sasuke had spent their fare share of time in this very room, playing Tekken or Final Fantasy with Sakura when they weren't on missions... which was often enough now that their team had been dissolved. He found the controllers in a basket next to the TV.

Sasuke watched him from the doorway a moment, then decided to just leave him. Naruto got moody sometimes if Sasuke mouthed off to him or teased him. He always came around if left alone. The guy was incapable of holding a serious grudge. Not against Sasuke, anyway. He left Naruto playing, while he headed out to the store.

* * *

"Sakura, good, you got my message," Tsunade said briskly. She paused to finish writing something on a form, before continuing absently. "Itachi is scheduled for a check-up today. He requested you."

"But-" Sakura balanced the large sheet cake on her palms as she adjusted the strap of her bag. "But I'm supposed to be helping with-"

Tsunade raised her eyes and skewered her student with them. Her lips tightened the faintest bit.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama." Sakura bowed awkwardly with the cake and meekly left the office.

-oOo-

On her way home, she stopped at the large apartment the Uchiha brothers shared and pressed the buzzer with a finger. The door was opened by Itachi, and Sakura bustled in before he could invite her. "Tsunade-sama says you requested me, but I'm super busy, so I'll try to make this as quick as possi-" She turned and found Itachi a mere foot away from her.

He was wearing his customary dark pants, but was shirtless. He had a towel draped around his neck. The ends of this towel fell to either side of his chest. His brown hands gripped the ends loosely as he looked down at her. His hair was damp. "Is something wrong?" he asked. His voice was its usual low register, but it made Sakura jump.

"No." She managed a little laugh. "No, of course not! Umm…" She looked around, tapping her lips. "We can do this on the dining table there. Hop up!" She went over and patted the table briskly.

Itachi made his way over, using the deliberation present in all his actions, and sat. He rested his palms to either side of his hips as Sakura set the cake on the table to his left. She put her bag on the floor, took a moment to call up her chakra, and her girlish attitude fell away. It was replaced with business-like attention.

He watched her serious face as she examined him. Her glowing hand paused for several seconds over each of his vital organs, especially his lungs and heart. She had one hand on his shoulder to do this, steadying him. "Breathe in," she commanded in a murmur, concentrating. He breathed deeply. "Exhale. Good. Lean forward, please."

Sakura moved behind him and he felt the same tingle of her chakra on his back as she again gave soft commands. She came back around him and grasped his chin with cool fingers.

Sakura hesitated at seeing the way he stared at her. She'd been uncomfortably aware of his eyes on her before, but this eye contact seemed very… personal. She was standing between his legs, she realized, and the heat of his thighs against her waist warmed her more than it should have. He didn't look away, and that flustered her more… especially when his eyes dropped to her mouth.

She cleared her throat nervously and recalled herself to her duties. "I need to inspect your eyes." Her voice was a little sharper than she would have liked. She tightened her hold on his chin. "Look up. Good, now down. Side to side." She held each of his eyelids up with a thumb as she used her other hand to probe his eyes with her chakra. "No further deterioration in your vision?"

"No." His breath was warm on her face.

Sakura nodded, going on tiptoe to inspect his pupils. "The results from your latest stress test indicates you're fully healed and recovered. How do you feel?" She released him and her chakra.

"Fine." He made an attempt to elaborate, very aware of her hand resting on his thigh. "I feel strong and… potent."

"Well, good then. I just need to test your reflexes, and I'll be done."

-oOo-

He watched as she wrote on a form she took from her bag after his reflexes were pronounced sharper than ever. She sucked the end of her pen a moment, frowning, then resumed her scribbling. She was still standing between his legs. "Are you seeing anyone?" he asked without preamble.

The pen stopped. Sakura glanced up with a crooked grin. "Me? Oh… no."

"I thought you and Kakashi were an item," he probed quietly. Sakura had her head bent, writing again. He saw the way her neck colored in embarrassment.

"Yeah… he, uh… he's not the commitment type."

"And are you? The commitment type."

Sakura looked up more slowly this time. She tapped her pen on the clipboard holding the form. "Yes, I guess I am. I'm not the kind of person to fool around."

"Neither am I."

A profound statement. The way he stared at her had her face burning. Worse, he reached out a hand and carefully took the clipboard from her. He set it aside. Sakura's pulse picked up speed. She suddenly couldn't look at him. "Um…"

He made her tremble by latching on to her wrist and pulling her firmly between his thighs. His hand slid to the back of her neck and tilted her face. He stared down into her wide eyes. "I don't do random things, either. Do you?"

Understanding the question beneath that, Sakura shook her head no. It was a small movement; his hand kept her still and poised up on her toes.

She didn't fight the hard, authoritative kiss. And she didn't protest when Itachi suddenly slid off the table, picked her up, and slammed her down smack dab in the middle of TenTen's birthday cake.

* * *

Sasuke found Naruto raiding the fridge when he walked back into Sakura's kitchen. He dropped the shopping bags on the table, and stood still as he met Naruto's eyes. Naruto looked back candidly, smiling. He offered Sasuke a cold dumpling. Sasuke relaxed; Naruto was over his funk.

"Got everything," he said, taking the dumpling. "Guess we should get to it. Where's the recipe?"

Naruto took it off the stove and examined it. "Alrighty, let's see…" He sucked his fingers clean, reading.

-oOo-

An hour later…

"We're running out of sugar," Sasuke noted with a frown. He skidded in a small mountain of it that had spilled on the floor as he handed Naruto the corn syrup.

"Not my fault you kept burning it." He dumped the corn syrup into the pot in their fifth attempt to complete step one of the recipe.

"Jesus, not all! The card says one cup!"

"We need eight batches."

"I think we need to do those one by one." Sasuke worriedly consulted the index card.

"Nah, it's like making clones to get a job done faster," Naruto said knowledgeably. "Sugar?"

Sasuke took up the bag of sugar, hesitated, then poured it all in. Naruto emptied another bottle of corn syrup into this mess and stirred energetically. "Okay," Sasuke fretted. "Looks like we finally got that down."

"What's the next step?"

"'Remove from heat and add peanut butter and Rice Krispies.'"

Naruto turned and set the pot on the table. Immediately, there was a smell of smoking plastic. "Shit."

"Fuck, Naruto, that was the butterscotch chips!"

"Sorry-"

"Gimme that." Sasuke snatched the pan. "Retard."

"It was an accident! God, you're always such a stuck up asshole, you know that? Think you're perfect, just because you're Uchiha. Fucking hate you sometimes." Naruto picked up the peanut butter and twisted it open. He ended up breaking the cover in his anger.

Sasuke likewise wrenched the Rice Krispies bag open a little too enthusiastically. The little kernels sprayed everywhere, covering the table and floor. He sighed.

"Who's the retard now?" Naruto snorted. He crunched across the floor to pick up the index card.

Sasuke opened another box of cereal as Naruto tried to melt the chocolate and butterscotch chips.

"The fire's too high," Sasuke said from over his shoulder. "You're burning it."

"I know I'm burning it," Naruto snapped. "You're not helping."

"I'm too much of a stuck up asshole to be much help," Sasuke quipped.

Naruto finally lost his temper and whirled to swing the pot against Sasuke's head. Luckily Sasuke ducked, but hot melted goo flew and stuck to his cheek and neck anyway. He roared in pain and rage. "Cocksucker! You'll pay for that!"

He slipped in the Rice Krispies, landed on his back, then swiped his leg at Naruto for laughing at him. Naruto jumped, came down, and slid just as hard. He landed next to Sasuke, who rolled and pressed his forearm to Naruto's throat.

Naruto slammed his knee into Sasuke's groin, but he was anticipated and blocked. He grunted, fighting in earnest.

"What is _with _you," Sasuke hissed. Naruto had plowed his granite fist into Sasuke's stomach, doubling him over with the nauseous pain. "You're always so moody these days."

"And you're always so smug." Naruto slipped and slid to his feet. "I'm sick of you treating me like crap."

"I don't-"

"Yes, you do."

"Since when?" Sasuke used the table to pull himself up, which spilled the sugar and corn syrup mixture all over the place. He ignored it, waiting for Naruto to answer. Naruto only picked at a patch of drying chocolate on the side of his hand.

_Since we started fucking, _Sasuke answered his own question. He crept carefully to where Naruto leaned against the counter, holding his arms wide for balance. He stood looking down at Naruto's hands as the latter used a fingernail to scratch at the crusty splotch of chocolate.

He supposed he was a bit mean sometimes. He couldn't help it. It was weird loving his lifelong friend so much, and even weirder having sex with him. He found himself loving and wanting Naruto more and more each day, and he didn't know where it would finally end, when it would finally stop. It scared him. He felt inextricably tangled with his emotions for Naruto, and powerless to alter them so much as an ant's worth. "I guess I'm snippy because I love you so much," he said quietly. "I'm sorry, okay?"

Naruto didn't look up from his hands, but he nodded.

Sasuke tried to lift Naruto's head, to see his face, but the other boy resisted, trying not to grin. They ended up slipping and crashing to the floor again. Sasuke grabbed Naruto's wrists and held them.

* * *

Naruto made a soundless 'ah' when Sasuke slowly licked at the chocolate on his hand. The heat of his mouth as he sucked at the dried patch had him hard and horny just that fast. Sasuke smiled at feeling the sudden erection. He settled himself purposefully between Naruto's parted legs.

This kind of playing and care was a new thing for them. They usually fucked in the forest or in their room at Itachi's place. Both locations necessitated stealth and a certain measure of urgency. This… this was heady. Exciting.

Kind of embarrassing, actually. Naruto blushed when Sasuke lifted the hem of his shirt to kiss his seal. The markings always came out when he felt horny for some reason. His shirt was pushed higher as Sasuke kissed up his torso. Naruto propped himself on his elbows to watch.

His nipples were kissed, flicked with a tongue, then sucked with a gentleness that had him squirming. His jacket was pushed off his shoulders to bunch around his arms, as that dark head found its way to his neck. Naruto's head fell back and Sasuke sucked long and hard on the spot just below one ear. "Sasuke?" Naruto giggled nervously. "Stop…"

In answer, Sasuke licked a trail to Naruto's lips and latched on.

They _were _hormonal 18-year-olds though, so the foreplay didn't last too long. Naked, Naruto yelped as his back crunched against Rice Krispies on the floor. Sasuke pressed one of Naruto's legs up so that his knee was by his chest, and entered him.

"Haaaaahh," Naruto moaned. His head tilted back against the linoleum. Sasuke adjusted his spread-legged kneeling position, holding a hand against the back of Naruto's raised leg.

The cereal hurt against his knees, but he was too caught up in the way Naruto was behaving to pay it much mind. He'd never seen Naruto get this worked up during sex. Naruto moaned, and panted, and twisted, and cursed between his gritted teeth. Sasuke looked down at where his cock was slipping in and out, lubricated with his own excitement and a healthy dose of spit. Naruto's pelvis was tipped upward a bit so that his cock rubbed interestingly on a place that seemed to have Naruto nearly crying in pleasure. He slowed down, rolling his own hips back and forth as he watched Naruto muttering a nonstop stream of nonsense mixed with swearing.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking shit, son of a bitch, oh my fucking g-hrytsrrrdhszzzkx…"

Sasuke giggled. "Naruto?"

Naruto bit the heel of his own hand and growled. His chest heaved with his deep panting. Sasuke abruptly dropped his eyes to the seal that was starting to glow.

"Fuck… me… _harder,_" Naruto said in a guttural hiss.

Sasuke stopped altogether, wary. He realized his Sharingan was on and didn't release it.

In a burst of sudden movement, Naruto shoved against Sasuke's chest and had him on his back. He was straddling his hips. Sasuke thought maybe his lover was just being extra horny, but then he saw the red eyes, and felt his thighs being brusquely parted. "Heeeeeey!"

To late, Naruto had shoved a few times and sheathed himself in Sasuke's ass. They were still for a few moments, processing this surprising development.

The only blessing was that Sasuke had been completely unsuspecting, and thus his muscles had been relaxed, or it would have hurt a lot more. Naruto braced himself on his palms and set about humping and thrusting in a frenzied pace that had Sasuke jerking bodily across the floor. Naruto steadied him.

It hurt, but the dry friction generated a wealth of heat in his rectum, and then it wasn't so dry anymore. Naruto came quickly and kept right on going. This slick slide had Sasuke unclenching his tight jaw and releasing his grip on Naruto's shoulder. A particularly vicious thrust had him lunging up reflexively at the sharp stab of pleasure. Naruto caught him with an arm before he could settle back down and then they were kissing.

Sasuke quite forgot his outrage at having his control usurped so neatly. He'd never bottomed before; it wasn't nearly as unpleasant as he'd thought it'd be. In fact, he wasn't ashamed to grunt and lift his legs and ask for stronger service. He felt like he was seeing a new side to Naruto, a commanding side, and he found it sexy as hell.

Naruto noticed. "Well, look who turned out to be a whore. Say my name," he smirked.

"Fuck you."

"I'm sure you'd like to." He allowed the slap Sasuke gave him, only because it turned into a caress of need.

When Naruto's rough hand closed around his shaft and tugged strongly, Sasuke caved. "Uuhhh… usurat-… fff… damn, that's… I'm coming… _Naruto!_"

Naruto pounded hard throughout Sasuke's climax before coming a second time himself.

-oOo-

Sometime later, after they'd begun to catch their breath, Sasuke hesitantly touched Naruto's shoulder. Naruto rolled over to look at him with a sleepy smile.

The pot of cool chocolate and butterscotch sat nearby, overturned. Sasuke dug his index finger into the stuff and drew on Naruto's chest the words _I love you. _He scooped more chocolate and actually fashioned a lopsided heart around these words. Naruto stared down at his chest, too touched to laugh. When he glanced up, he found Sasuke too embarrassed to meet his eyes. He reached out, turned Sasuke's face so that he could see his eyes, and leaned in to kiss him.

The first time had been awkward, and Naruto's attentions had been rough the second time, if satisfying… this time was different.

Sasuke lifted Naruto and walked to Sakura's bedroom.

* * *

The white quilt with stars and rainbows on it wasn't noticed. The girly underwear and bras on the doorknobs weren't noticed. Nothing was noticed except the way Sasuke fell with Naruto on the bed and proceeded to kiss him deeply.

Their hands were clasped on the pillow, near their heads. Sasuke got his knees under him and landed kisses on Naruto's eyebrows and nose and chin. He moved lower, biting and sucking, then biting again, still holding Naruto's hands hostage.

Naruto stared at the ceiling, feeling his heart thunder in his ears, and his blood pound in his veins. It always undid him, whenever Sasuke showed his true feelings. This display emotions… it aroused him more than the kissing or touching did. Though the way Sasuke was eating his chocolate artwork now was also doing a fine job. Naruto went briefly blind when that mouth slipped over his erection and remained there. "I want you," he gasped. He tugged plaintively on Sasuke's hair.

He loved when Sasuke kissed him, as he was doing again now. He felt the firm slide of Sasuke's cock in him and checked another moan before it could leave him. Sasuke gathered him close. "Naruto…"

They rolled, and groped, and paused for more kissing amidst the creaking of Sakura's bedsprings. Once, Sasuke stopped and let Naruto top again. He let himself be screwed into the mattress by Naruto's gruff approach, muffling his howls of enjoyment in Sakura's lacy pillow. They were coated with sweat, and holding tightly to each other's wet hair when they finally came together in a rush of frantic thrusting and stroking. Their breaths mingled as they panted through the aftershocks, and their gazes remained locked on each other.

"Much better than the kitchen floor," Naruto managed weakly when he could speak.

* * *

When Sakura dragged herself into her apartment, she pulled up short at seeing the state her kitchen was in.

Naruto had been sent out for more supplies. The floor was covered with Rice Krispies, corn syrup and chocolate morsels, the air was foul with the stench of burnt sugar, and it seemed that every pot she owned had been used and now filled the sink. But eight perfect batches of Scotcheroos sat on the kitchen table, neatly cut into bars.

Her teammates stood tensely side by side, silent and watching her. She didn't question their sticky hair or chocolaty faces. Nor, when they got a closer look at her, did Naruto or Sasuke ask why Sakura seemed to be wearing most of the cake instead of carrying it. They wisely decided not to comment on the way her torn dress was being held together with a fist. The boys wanted to get out of there before Sakura's stained and smelly bed was discovered, and Sakura wanted to avoid looking at Sasuke too much. She mumbled, "Thanks."

"Uh huh, sure, anytime," Naruto threw over his shoulder. He and Sasuke made a hasty exit out the front door.


End file.
